


Criminal Mischief

by ezragold



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M, Pegoryu Week 2018, additional tags to come with additional chapters, hold my beer i guess, it's also my first published work on ao3, this is my first theme week and i'm terrified tbqh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-05 13:07:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15171389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ezragold/pseuds/ezragold
Summary: In Tarot, The Chariot represents the moment in The Fool's Journey when The Fool is able to look upon his life with confidence and control for the first time.In Tokyo, Akira's Chariot arrives in the form of a soft-hearted delinquent who doesn't seem to have much of either.-My works for Pegoryu Week 2018! Ratings and genres will vary from work to work and will be available in the author's notes for each chapter.





	1. Meet the Parents

**Author's Note:**

> **Day 1: Meeting**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Summary:** Ryuji begrudgingly agrees to go shopping with his mom and is dragged straight into the flower shop where Akira is working a shift, leading to a very unplanned first meeting. **[General]**

“Ryuji, quit dragging your feet.”

“Quit walking so fast!”

For a short little lady, Ryuji was always surprised by how fast his mom was when she had something to get done. He still had nightmares about seeing her haul ass through the school at a speed walk whenever she was called to pick him up from Kobayakawa’s office. It seemed to explain his track and field talent, anyway.

He nudged past a group of teenagers ogling a sale in the cosmetics shop to reach his mother, who had been veered off course by a window display at the electronics store. 

“Something tells me that old grandma you hang out with wouldn’t be into punk rap,” Ryuji said, stopping at his mother’s side. She rolled her eyes. 

“Hanayo is turning 45, Ryuji. She’s hardly a grandma. Don’t refer to her so rudely.”

“She sure acts like one,” Ryuji mumbled. “Who complains about bleached hair anymore aside from old timers?”

Ryuji trailed after his mom as she shrugged and started heading toward the other side of the underground shopping center. 

“She’s just concerned that you’ll have trouble getting a job once you leave university.”

Ryuji made a face at the U-word and was immediately thankful that his mother didn’t actually have eyes in the back of her head, despite her assertions to the contrary. 

“Maybe she should mind her own business,” Ryuji grunted. He slowed his pace as his mother took a moment to linger outside a souvenir shop. 

“Well,” she said, “I keep telling her about your aspirations to join the circus, but she doesn’t seem to think of that as a very lucrative career option.”

His mom looked up at him with a lopsided little smile and raised eyebrows. Ryuji tried not to grin back at her and failed. 

“Now stop acting like a clown and help me come up with something to get her!” she said, swatting him gently on the arm. She suddenly frowned. “And pull up your pants!”

“Augh, Moooom...”

“I changed your _diapers_ , Ryuji. I have lost all tolerance for looking at your underwear.”

“Mom, oh my god,” he hissed, tugging his shorts up and trying to ignore the girls in a nearby clothing store glancing over at him and giggling. His mother didn’t pay his whining much mind, though, as she was now peering at a large display outside of a flower shop. 

“Ooh, she would love these,” she said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “Honey, aren’t these beautiful?”

Ryuji, officially over the shopping trip, pulled his phone out to check his messages. 

“Real nice, Ma,” he said, clicking through the group chat that had spun wildly out of control after Makoto tried to force Futaba to explain a meme she had referenced.

Ryuji’s mom rolled her eyes and stepped into the little shop while Ryuji rested against the wall next to the entrance. He had a couple messages from Ann trying to pick times for the movie he’d agreed to see with her, and six new messages from Futaba that all contained what she kept referring to as “cursed images,” though they mostly just made Ryuji a little uncomfortable. 

He heard his mother inside, speaking with the shopkeeper about prices and pick-up times. 

“I can have it done inside an hour, if you’re wanting to go with the medium,” the florist was saying. “It’s a slow day, so that shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Oh, that’s perfect,” his mother said, and he could picture the big, pearly-white smile on her face.

“It’s for a birthday present, right?” the shopkeeper asked, and Ryuji frowned. That voice was suddenly beginning to sound very familiar. 

“Yes, for an old friend of mine! She’s a lovely lady. I’ve known her for years and years... she used to watch my son when he was just a baby. He’s about your age, now!”

A familiar, good-natured laugh. Ryuji felt sweat on his palms. Oh god, please no. 

“She’ll need something really nice to outweigh years of nannying,” his mother continued. “He was a little terror at that age - teething on everything, the loudest crying you’ve ever heard, refused to keep his clothes on, and when he learned to walk! You couldn’t even keep up with him! He’s probably the reason she went gray so early.”

Nope, okay, reference to baby nudity equals end of conversation. Ryuji shoved his phone back in his pocket, and, hiding his flushed face, rushed into the flower shop and grabbed his mother’s shoulders in an attempt to steer her back into the mall. 

“Come on, Ma. Before I have to kill myself out of shame,” he said. 

“Ryuji?”

Ryuji grimaced. Yeah. Figured. 

“Hey, dude,” he said, giving Akira (because _of course_ it was Akira) a pained smile. “Forgot you worked here.”

Akira’s smile, on the other hand, was filled with absolute delight. 

Ryuji’s mother glanced between the two of them, eyes wide, before grinning. 

“You two know each other!” she exclaimed, and Ryuji rolled his eyes. 

“Jeez, Ma. How’d you figure?”

“Oh, stop,” she said, swatting at him. “Introduce me to your friend!”

Akira was very clearly biting back his laughter and Ryuji was suddenly very tempted to look up flower toxicity and shove the first result into his mouth.

“I’m Akira Kurusu,” he said as Ryuji searched desperately for an escape route. Akira bowed politely to Ryuji’s mother. “I’m a schoolmate of your son’s. It’s an honor to finally meet you after all he’s said about you.”

Oh god. That did it. Ryuji’s mom lit up like a firework. Ryuji looked desperately for an exit to the conversation (and a way to drag his mother away from any further opportunities to embarrass him) and found nothing.

“You’re Kurusu-kun?” she asked, eyes wide. She clasped her hands in front of her like a starry-eyed child. “I feel like I know you already! Ryuji talks about you all the time!”

“Does he?” Akira says, turning his attention to Ryuji. Ryuji felt like his body was on fire. Like he was an ant that some psycho kid had a magnifying glass trained on. 

“Okay, I hate you both and I’m leaving,” he announced, immediately spinning on his heel. His mother’s vice-grip suddenly wrapped around his upper arm, though, and he was swung right back around to her side. As if his mom wasn’t loud and embarrassing enough with strangers, now she’s going around sharing that Ryuji talks about Akira “all the time”? To Akira’s _face?_

Ryuji looked at a tourist-trap sword on display outside the souvenir shop next door and wondered if the shopkeep would make his mom pay for it if he used it to commit seppuku like a failed samurai. 

“So dramatic,” his mother laughed. “He always gets so worked up over little things.”

Ryuji glowered at Akira as he failed to hide a laugh of his own. Traitor.

“It’s one of my favorite qualities of his,” Akira said. _Et tu, Kurusu, you son of a bitch?_

“Oh my goodness, I haven’t even introduced myself,” she said. “I’m Michie Sakamoto – and I really am so happy to run into you today! Ryuji, why didn’t you tell me your friend worked here?”

“To avoid this exact situation, actually,” Ryuji muttered.

“Oh, stop it.”

“Stop telling everyone you just met baby stories about me!”

“It wasn’t anything bad,” Akira said, giving him a good-natured smile that made Ryuji want to push him down a steep hill. Akira turned his attention back to Ryuji’s mom and politely inclined his head toward her. “Sakamoto-san, as happy as I am to meet you and to continue embarrassing your son, I believe you were interested in a bouquet for your friend…?”

“Man, shut up – ” Ryuji began to whine, but was quickly cut off by his mom.

“Yes, oh my goodness!” she said. “Yes, Michiko’s present.” She looked around the shop, eyes wide as she took in the pre-made bouquets and shelf after shelf of flowers. “There’s so much!” she said. “How does anyone ever choose?”

“Everyone is a little different,” Akira said, pulling a large binder out from underneath the display counter. “Some choose based on color or size, some on smell, and some…” Akira opened the binder up to a long, wordy list, “…choose based on meaning.”

Watching Akira snap so effortlessly into customer service mode was a little creepy, like an android in a TV show. Ryuji took a moment to ponder the possibility of his best friend being a robot.

“Ooh,” Ryuji’s mother said, taking a step toward the binder and peering at the list. “Does every flower have a meaning?”

“There’s an entire language behind flowers,” Akira said, his voice and smile gentle and incredibly off-putting to Ryuji, who had spent a year watching this guy disembowel Shadows like he was born for it. “For instance, there are quite a few that symbolize friendship.” Akira walked over to a tall metal bucket against the wall, amongst many identical buckets. Inside was a thick bunch of flowers with deep green stems and gentle, pink petals. “Alstroemeria, for instance,” he said, offering it to Ryuji’s mother.

“Ooh, this is lovely!” she said, taking it in gentle fingers. “I think Hanayo would really like this. What do you think Ryuji?”

“Yeah, Ryuji? What do you think?” Akira echoed, taking another of the flowers from the bucket and extending it to him. “They _do_ symbolize friendship.”

“You have any flowers that symbolize betrayal?” Ryuji glowered.

“Red dahlias, most typically,” Akira said, without missing a beat. He smirked.

“Dude, you’re so annoying.”

“Only for you,” he said, waving the alstroemeria at him tauntingly.

Ryuji’s mom rolled her eyes. “Is that any way to talk to your friend?”

“This one?” Ryuji asked, inclining his head toward Akira. “Pretty sure it’s the only way.”

His mom sighed, releasing him from her hold. “Go find something to do if you’re going to be a brat,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him as he pulled away.

Mirroring her face, Ryuji quickly flashed a rude gesture at Akira (who immediately burst into laughter) and retreated from the shop, his mother scolding his back as he rushed off.

The next forty minutes passed a lot more slowly than he would have liked without his mother constantly keeping him on his toes. He could only walk laps around the mall so many times, and the smoothie stand was only serving one of their nasty toxic monstrosities that Akira seemed so into and Ryuji couldn’t stand the fumes emanating from it. He ended up buying a pair of cheap earbuds from the electronics store and camping out in a corner, watching bad YouTube videos on his phone until a text from his mother appeared on his screen, letting him know she was ready to go if he was done sulking. (He responded with a quick “NOT sulking” before pushing himself to his feet.)

They met at the exit, Ryuji’s mother easy to find with the large bouquet in her arms.

“What happened to the medium?” he asked, fixing the purse strap that had begun to slip off her shoulder.

“There are so many flowers that symbolize friendship – oh, thank you, honey – that I couldn’t only pick one or two!” She held the bouquet out to him and he took it automatically as she went rooting around in her bag for their train passes. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Ryuji said, holding the large bundle awkwardly in front of his chest. “Old ladies like flowers.”

“Ryuji, don’t hold it like that. Hold it like a baby.”

“This _is_ how I would hold a baby,” he said defensively, the bouquet held out a foot in front of him. His mother rolled her eyes and the two began toward their platform.

“Kurusu-kun was lovely, by the way,” she said. “I can see why you speak so highly of him.”

“You only liked him because he kept encouraging you to be embarrassing,” Ryuji grumbled. “That’s exactly why you’d never met him, you know.”

“You’re so dramatic,” she sighed, shaking her head. “It isn’t like I told him about your little crush.”

Ryuji stopped dead, his legs refusing to move as all the energy in his body was diverted to deciphering what his mother just said.

He settled on squeaking out “My _what_?” like a very cool and relaxed individual.

His mother turned around and put her hands on her hips, an eyebrow raised at him skeptically. “I don’t recall you ever being so dead-set against me meeting a friend of yours before,” she said, her lips raising into a knowing smile. “Especially for how much you talk about him. And,” she added, “he is _very_ cute.”

“Ma!” Oh my god, was his mother really confronting him about his… about the… _whatever_ it was, in the middle of the train station?!

His mother raised her hands defensively. “I’m done, I’m done, I promise,” she said. “We’ll never speak of it again.”

“Uh, yeah!” Ryuji sputtered, his face so hot he could actually feel sweat forming at his hairline.

“But,” she said, and the smile reappeared on her face, “before you accuse me of anything, I didn’t convince him to pick a flower for you.”

“A… what?”

“The blue one, there. I think it was… oh, darn it, what did he call it?” She pulled out her phone and squinted at the screen as Ryuji peered into the bouquet.

There _was_ a blue flower in it, tucked into the second layer of cellophane and separate from the bouquet itself. Multiple blooms grew along the stem, all a shade of sky-blue, with smaller, white blooms inside of them.

“Larkspur!” his mother announced, grinning at her phone. “Or a del… delphinium, there we go.”

Ryuji pulled the flower out of the bouquet and peered at it. It wasn’t obvious, like a rose or something. Everyone knew what those were supposed to represent. 

“Did he say what it’s supposed to mean?” he asked, tilting it to different angles as if the answer would be written on the underside of a petal. When his mother didn’t answer he looked up at her and found her smiling.

“Nope,” she said, “but he did say it reminded him of you.”

“Huh.” Ryuji tried to will away any redness in his face, but his cheeks felt much warmer anyway. Betrayed by his own coloring. What luck. 

“My bet is on childish, myself,” his mother said suddenly, “or, ‘Needs to buy pants that fit.’”

Ryuji groaned. “Ma!”

She laughed and turned away, marching smartly toward their platform.

“Yeah, you’re super funny,” he called after her as he slowly trailed after her. “A real comedian.”

Knowing Akira, it was probably something brutally honest. Maybe, like… headstrong. Stubborn. Childish wouldn’t even be out of the question. Or dramatic, as his mom was so fond of saying.

Regardless of what it meant, though, it didn’t leave his hand for the train ride home, and when they got back to the apartment his mom filled a tall glass of water for him to keep it in. He made a note to send a picture of it to Haru the next morning. She knew gardening, and definitely seemed the most likely out of any of the girls to know anything about flower arranging. 

Ryuji laid back on his bed and stared at his ceiling. He tried not to think for too long about what would remind Akira of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Larkspurs represent boldness, ardent attachment, and an open heart, and if that's not the cutest damn thing you ever heard then I can't help you.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr on my [personal](http://kitsnickerdoodle.tumblr.com/) and my [writing blog](http://ezragold.tumblr.com/)! Come say hi!


	2. With a Little Help from My Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Day 2:** First Date
> 
> **Summary:** Ryuji has successfully asked Akira out! Now if only he could figure out something special for them to do. All of his ideas just feel like their every day routine, and he’s pulling his hair out trying to come up with a way to make it special. All of the thieves seem to have their own ideas of the perfect date, 90% of which are entirely unhelpful, as Ryuji soon realizes. **[TEEN]**
> 
> I tried to keep everyone's screen names as obvious as possible, but here's a rundown in case it's unclear:
> 
> Akira: JokersWild  
> Ryuji: crossbonez  
> Ann: yougivemethecrepes  
> Yusuke: palette-cleanser  
> Makoto: killerqueen  
> Futaba: memejed  
> Haru: HaruOkumura

**[ THURSDAY, 6:50PM ]**

**crossbonez** has entered **The Dungeon of Unspeakable Acts**

**crossbonez** : GUYS I NEED HELP

**crossbonez** : ALSO WTF WHO CHANGED THE CHANNEL NAME

**palette-cleanser** : There’s no need to yell about it.

**crossbonez** : YOU CAN’T HEAR ME SMARTASS

**killerqueen** : Futaba renamed it and I can’t figure out how to change it back. What’s wrong?

**memejed** : me! muahaha!!!! you’ll never figure out how to change it back!

**memejed** : boo makoto types too fast :(

**palette-cleanser** : Futaba, naturally.

**palette-cleanser** : Oh.

**memejed** : lmaooooo

**crossbonez** : ok ok is akira in this chat??

**yougimmethecrepes** : I mean technically

**yougimmethecrepes** : but I think he’s had this channel muted for like a month

**killerqueen** : Understandable.

**crossbonez** : o sick

**crossbonez** : OK SO I ASKED HIM OUT AND I NEED ADVICE

**yougimmethecrepes** : OMG RYUJI

**memejed** : GHIDNDOSKFHSKX WHAAAAT

**killerqueen** : !

**yougimmethecrepes** : DID HE SAY YES??

**palette-cleanser** : My most heartfelt congratulations!

**crossbonez** : of course he said yes wtf guys

**crossbonez** : why wouldn’t he, i’m a catch

**memejed** : so’s a big ol slimy fish

**memejed** : its perspective

**crossbonez** : can we ban her?

**killerqueen** : She’s the room admin.

**memejed** : IM ADMIN MY CITY NOW

**memejed** : HECK how do u type so much faster than me????

**crossbonez** : OH MY GOD CAN WE FOCUS ON ME PLEASE

**palette-cleanser** : something tells me you wouldn’t allow us the chance to do anything different.

**yougimmethecrepes** : go ahead Ryuji, what’s up?

**crossbonez** : i didn’t think about what we should do on the date so i kinda panicked when he asked and told him i had everything taken care of but i don’t

**crossbonez** : ive never taken care of anything in my life

**crossbonez** : please help yall know im not smart

**yougimmethecrepes** : omg THAT’S what ur worried about??? HOE ur best friend is a dating expert. I gotchu

**crossbonez** : lmfao ann youve never been on a date

**yougimmethecrepes** : maybe not

**yougimmethecrepes** : but i have seen so many romcoms

**crossbonez** : oooooo my god Kill me

**crossbonez** : wait holy shit have any of you even been on a date before

**crossbonez** : _NOW_ YOU ALL STOP TYPING

**crossbonez** : this is the worst i hate my life

**yougimmethecrepes** : yusuke if you say anything about painting my nude as a date i’ll block you

**palette-cleanser** : There was that time when Ann came to the old studio in order for me to paint her portrait.

**palette-cleanser** : It was already half-written when you sent that.

**yougimmethecrepes** : OHHH MY GOD

**palette-cleanser** : I didn’t want to just let the reply go to waste.

**killerqueen** : What benefit was there to posting it, exactly?

**yougimmethecrepes** : BLOCKED

**palette-cleanser** : :(

**killerqueen** : Okay.

**killerqueen** : I’ll DM you, Ryuji.

**crossbonez** : oh thank god

 

**[ THURSDAY, 7:04 PM ]**

[ **killerqueen** has sent you a message! ]

**killerqueen** : Firstly,

**killerqueen** : good for you, asking out Akira! That was really brave. How did it go, if that’s not too intrusive?

**crossbonez** : fine I think?? morgana kept cockblocking me but he got bored of watching us watch bad movies and left so

**crossbonez** : i just kinda

**crossbonez** : asked

**crossbonez** : and he said yeah

**crossbonez** : so now im dead and going thru w the date is my hell

**killerqueen** : Okay, relax. Obviously he wouldn’t have said yes to the date if he wasn’t already interested, so you already have that going for you! The worst part is done.

**killerqueen** : All you have to do now is think of something special for the two of you to do together.

**crossbonez** : yeah that’s basically the part where my brain stops

**killerqueen** : Fair. What’s your budget?

**crossbonez** : uhhhhhh

**crossbonez** : uhhhhhhhhhhh

**killerqueen** : Ryuji.

**crossbonez** : is free an option

**killerqueen** : Oh, god. Okay.

**killerqueen** : I didn’t realize you hadn’t planned for this in… any capacity.

**crossbonez** : OF COURSE I HAVENT ITS LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME

**crossbonez** : I DIDNT THINK OF THE MONEY THING OK

**crossbonez** : I WAS SORT OF FOCUSED ON NOT THROWING UP ON HIM AS I ASKED

**killerqueen** : Message received.

**killerqueen** : I’ll see if there’s anything cheap going on in the city this weekend.

**crossbonez** : thank you ugh

**crossbonez** : was this a bad idea

**killerqueen** : Asking out Akira? No, of course not.

**crossbonez** : sigh

**killerqueen** : Lying to Akira about having the entire thing prepared and planned out? Yes, without a doubt.

**crossbonez** : COOL THANKS MOM 

**crossbonez** : GOD

[ **crossbonez** left the conversation. ]

 

**[ THURSDAY, 7:29PM ]**

[ **palette-cleanser** sent you a message! ]

**palette-cleanser** : Are you still taking advice for your date?

**crossbonez** : the answer is technically yes but i can’t say i’ve reached the point in my life where i’m ready to take dating advice from you

**palette-cleanser** : I shall try and keep my advice more general, then.

**crossbonez** : just don’t say the word beauty

**palette-cleanser** : You should consider the benefit of surrounding yourselves with beautiful things. I can only imagine a relationship increasing in intensity when the couple is surrounded by overwhelming beauty.

**palette-cleanser** : In my defense, my reply was half-written when you posted yours.

**crossbonez** : what the hell would overwhelming beauty even be man

**crossbonez** : am i sposed to find out which flower gives him boners like what am i doing here

**palette-cleanser** : that is up to you! And Akira, I suppose.

**palette-cleanser** : I was, of course, referring to your beautiful surroundings being up to you. Akira getting an erection is less-so in your hands.

**palette-cleaner** : …I did not mean for that to become a double-entendre but I suppose that’s also appropriate to your situation.

**crossbonez** : hoo boy you are this close to my block list lemme tell ya

**palette-cleanser** : Please don’t, my contact list is very short as it is.

**palette-cleanser** : Back to the topic at hand,

**crossbonez** : yeah plz

**palette-cleanser** : What are some things that Akira finds beautiful?

**crossbonez** : man i don’t know

**crossbonez** : uhh

**crossbonez** : good coffee

**crossbonez** : big ass cheeseburgers

**crossbonez** : cats probably

**crossbonez** : hes got a risette poster in his room but i think that’s less because shes hot and more because someone gave it to him and he was too nice to throw it out

**palette-cleanser** : None of that sounds particularly beautiful…

**crossbonez** : OH WOW DOES IT NOT

**crossbonez** : REALLY

**palette-cleanser** : There is no need to imply the raising of your voice at me.

**crossbonez** : sjdjcickgmsoakfb

**palette-cleanser** : ?

**crossbonez** : nothing dont worry abt it

**crossbonez** : im gonna go see if i can buy something beautiful for ¥200 

**palette-cleanser** : Many beautiful things in life are free.

**crossbonez** : you got an example to go with that inspirational quote?

**crossbonez** : duuuude?

**palette-cleanser** : I appear to be losing connection

**crossbonez: oh my god dude**

**palette-cleanser** : I can hardly read what you’re writing

**crossbonez** : thats not how that would even work

**crossbonez** : i cant tell if ur trolling me or not

[ **palette-cleanser** has left the conversation. ]

 

**[ THURSDAY, 7:49PM ]**

[ **yougimmethecrepes** has chosen not to share their status. ]

**crossbonez** : plz tell me ur just invisible

**crossbonez** : ur my one last hope and god is that saying something about how my standards have fallen

**yougimmethecrepes** : doing homework

**yougimmethecrepes** : and you don't have enough control over this situation to have standards

**crossbonez** : you still willing to give bad advice?

**yougimmethecrepes** : imagine me swiping all of my school work off my desk onto my floor because if my math grade didn’t ride on this I would have done that

**crossbonez** : aight

**yougimmethecrepes** : also my advice is fantastic shut up

**yougimmethecrepes** : okay, lets start easy. What’s the budget?

**crossbonez** : im in high school and not a part time model

**crossbonez** : my budget is negative

**yougimmethecrepes** : ooooh

**yougimmethecrepes** : got it

**yougimmethecrepes** : arcade? you can just use small change and stuff

**crossbonez** : we go there ALL THE TIME thats not a date

**crossbonez** : that’s like going to the ramen shop or something

**yougimmethecrepes** : uh……batting cages? Movie?

**crossbonez** : i cant ask him on a date and then just do shit we do normally! how is that a date???

**yougimmethecrepes** : How is it not a date?? You guys always have fun doing that, how is it less fun on a date

**yougimmethecrepes** : OH WAIT NO I got it

**yougimmethecrepes** : bathhouse

**crossbonez** : shut up no

**yougimmethecrepes** : hey, it’s not my fault you gave this absolutely no thought whatsoever

**crossbonez** : UGH I KNOW

**crossbonez** : WHY IS THIS HARD

**yougimmethecrepes** : I KEEP TELLING YOU THAT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE

**yougimmethecrepes** : YOU’RE THE ONE MAKING THIS A PROBLEM

[ **crossbonez** has left the conversation. ]

 

**[ THURSDAY, 8:25 PM ]**

[ **memejed** is online. ]

**crossbonez** : no

**memejed** : before you say anything

**memejed** : jdcjdjnfdkdkf

**memejed** : dammit how do all of you type so fast

**memejed** : it’s like I don’t even know myself any more

**memejed** : is it my tiny hands

**crossbonez** : i do not want dating advice from you

**memejed** : well then it’s a good thing I don’t have any for you then ISNT IT

**memejed** : I just wanted to tell you that Akira just got home and he’s smiling a lot and it’s gross and weird and most likely your fault, so

**crossbonez** : oh that’s

**crossbonez** : nice to hear thank you jhgjfyjuh

**memejed** : he just told sojiro n me about the date and sojiro offered to grab him condoms hahAHAAHAH

**crossbonez** : OH MY GOD

**crossbonez** : DONT TELL ME THAT SHIT

**memejed** : IM ACTUALLY GONNA CHOKE LOLLL

**crossbonez** : I HOPE SO

**memejed** : >:(

**memejed** : I don’t even get why youre so nervous he’s obviously out of his mind happy to go out with you

**memejed** : whatever you guys do he’ll be down

**memejed** : just don’t do any stupid shit like try and show off or act like a tool

**memejed** : which I realize may seem daunting for you

**memejed** : but I believe u may have it in you, maybe

**crossbonez** : I just have no idea what to do without us doing the same shit as always

**memejed** : whats wrong with doing the stuff you guys always do? Routine is comfy

**memejed** : comfort is the enemy of anxiety

**memejed** : well, comfy, and a good pair of sweatpants

**memejed** : *and valium

**crossbonez** : you dont think he would mind doing shit we do all the time?

**memejed** : oh my god are ALL boys as stupid as you??? how has the species survived for so long

**memejed** : just hold his hand or something and he’d let you push him in front of the subway!! Like, that probably shouldn’t be your go to option, but just

**memejed** : he ALREADY likes you. THATS WHY HE SAID YES. you don’t need to impress him or anything

**memejed** : consider yourself lucky, because like, idk how you swung that

**crossbonez** : I agree with you too much to get mad at that

**crossbonez** : wow

**crossbonez** : akira agreed to go out with me, you gave me advice that wasnt steaming dog shit

**crossbonez** : maybe i should buy a lottery ticket lmao

**memejed** : LMAO ur luck stat isn’t THAT high yet

**memejed** : see if sojiro comes through w the condoms first

**crossbonez** : okay and NOW im leaving

**memejed** : BE SAFE!!

[ **crossbonez** has left the conversation. ]

 

**[ THURSDAY, 9:22 PM ]**

[ **HaruOkumura** sent you a message! ]

**HaruOkumura** : Good, you’re still online! 

**crossbonez** : hahaha what happened to ur screenname?

**HaruOkumura** : The company’s social media adviser suggested I change it for professional purposes………..

**crossbonez** : lame

**HaruOkumura** : Yes apparently “BigBangIsPeople” is not an appropriate username for the incoming CEO of Okumura Foods.

**HaruOkumura** : I thought it was funny :(

**HaruOkumura** : But anyway! I’m glad you’re still online! Makoto texted me and told me about yours and Akira’s date and I wanted to say congratulations and I’m so happy for you!

**crossbonez** : thanks! tell makoto to quit snitchin tho

**HaruOkumura** : Will do! I just wanted to talk because Makoto said you were very stressed out and seemed sort of unprepared

**crossbonez** : im okay now i think

**crossbonez** : futaba helped me out

**crossbonez** : weirdly

**crossbonez** : i mean im still sweating all over myself and the idea of actually meeting up with akira for the date in question makes me want to gag but :) im fine

**HaruOkumura** : oh my :o

**HaruOkumura** : Have you decided what the two of you will do?

**crossbonez** : yeeaaahhhh i got some ideas i think?

**HaruOkumura** : I do as well!! Would you like to hear them?

**crossbonez** : hey i am always up for not thinking

**HaruOkumura** : That’s great!! Okay, what is your budget currently?

**crossbonez** : gkhskdfkjlghlrihvoirhgiu

**crossbonez** : kjghsiuergtiughpijiuprughtuislrhgiulth

**HaruOkumura** : Uhm?

**crossbonez** : I THINK IM GOOD LMAO THX HARU

**HaruOkumura** : Oh youre welcome! Let us know how it goes!

**crossbonez** : yeah sure if i dont die first!

[ **crossbonez** has left the conversation. ]

 

**[ SATURDAY, 02:41 AM ]**

[ **JokersWild** sent you a message! ]

**JokersWild** : Hey

**JokersWild** : I know youre probably asleep because it’s like ass o clock in the morning and why wouldn’t you be

**JokersWild** : But I cant sleep because I made myself some antianxiety coffee when I got home haha

**JokersWild** : (futaba calls it estresso but I can’t call it that because it’s so clever it makes me mad I didn’t think of it first)

**JokersWild** : but I had a really good time tonight

**JokersWild** : and you seemed kind of worried all night so I wanted you to know that

**JokersWild** : and idek if you were worried because of us(?) or if there was something else going on and now I just seem like kind of an asshole for assuming it was about me

**JokersWild** : but whether it was or it wasn’t I had fun

**JokersWild** : and

**JokersWild** : I’m really happy you asked me out

**JokersWild** : and just…… you don’t need advice from anyone on how to like

**JokersWild** : woo me yknow?

**JokersWild** : I had notifications turned off but the number of messages in the group chat kept ticking up so I lurked for a second

**JokersWild** : I don’t know what anyone ended up telling you but you didn’t need it

**JokersWild** : you don’t have to impress me. I ALREADY like you.

**JokersWild** : so, that’s that

**JokersWild** : this coffee is very strong and obviously my inhibitions are non existent right now so I’m going to bed before this turns into a confession

**JokersWild** : or more of one

**JokersWild** : lets, like, do this again? I want to keep doing this with you

[ **JokersWild** has left the conversation. ]

 

**[ SATURDAY, 02:54 AM ]**

[ **JokersWild** sent you a message! ]

**JokersWild** : also oh my god thank you for not freaking out when that condom fell out of my jacket I SWEAR TO YOU I did not put it there and when I find out who did I am going to unmake them

**JokersWild** : okay goodnight

[ **JokersWild** has left the conversation. ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** Thank you so much for reading! Don't worry - even though Pegoryu week is over, this fic isn't! I have every intention of uploading a chapter for each day, at least. (I've also been toying with the possibility of writing something for each prompt we were given, ending in fourteen chapters total.)
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [my personal blog](http://kitsnickerdoodle.tumblr.com) and [my writing blog](http://ezragold.tumblr.com).


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